Paul Harvey: If I Were the Devil

Recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2005, Paul Harvey (1918–2009) was a famous American journalist and commentator for ABC News Radio known for his distinctive voice, conservative viewpoint, and unique daily sign-off: “Paul Harvey…[LONG PAUSE]…Good Day!”

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From 1951 to 2008, his broadcasts on over 1,300 radio stations and his writings syndicated to 300 newspapers reached a massive audience, estimated at up to 24 million people per week. He passed away in 2009 at the age of 90.

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On April 3rd, 1965, in the lead-up to Holy Week that year and in the tradition of The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, Mr. Harvey’s broadcast commentary was titled, “If I Were the Devil.” It was a satirical rallying cry for Americans to change their moral direction and social mores. Now, decades later, it also speaks to the importance of the five principles of SemperVerus (Stay True to What Is Right) living—Prepare, Aware, Be, Know, Do—and the 17 virtues of the SemperVerus Brotherhood.

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In his remarks, he alludes to events in the Bible in such passages as Genesis 3, 2 Timothy 4:3-4, and Isaiah 5:20-21.

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Listen to the broadcast and read the script below:

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“If I Were the Devil” by Paul Harvey

“If I were the Devil … If I were the Prince of Darkness, I’d want to engulf the whole world in darkness. And I’d have a third of its real estate, and four-fifths of its population, but I wouldn’t be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree … Thee. So I’d set about however necessary to take over the United States. I’d subvert the churches first I’d begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: ‘Do as you please.’

“To the young, I would whisper that ‘The Bible is a myth.’ I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around. I would confide that what’s bad is good, and what’s good is ‘square.’ And the old, I would teach to pray, after me, ‘Our Father, which art in Washington…’

“And then I’d get organized. I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting, so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. I’d threaten TV with dirtier movies and vice versa. I’d pedal narcotics to whom I could. I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. I’d tranquilize the rest with pills.

“If I were the Devil, I’d soon have families that war with themselves, churches at war with themselves, and nations at war with themselves; until each in its turn was consumed. And with promises of higher ratings, I’d have mesmerizing media fanning the flames.

“If I were the Devil I would encourage schools to refine young intellects, but neglect to discipline emotions; just let those run wild, until before you knew it, you’d have to have drug sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door.

“Within a decade I’d have prisons overflowing, I’d have judges promoting pornography; soon I could evict God from the courthouse, then from the schoolhouse, and then from the houses of Congress. And in His own churches I would substitute psychology for religion, and deify science. I would lure priests and pastors into misusing boys and girls, and church money.

“If I were the Devil I’d make the symbol of Easter an egg and the symbol of Christmas a bottle.

“If I were the Devil I’d take from those who have and give to those who want it until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. And what do you bet I could get whole states to promote gambling as the way to get rich? I would caution against extremes and hard work, in patriotism, in moral conduct.

“I would convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, that swinging is more fun, that what you see on the TV is the way to be. And thus, I could undress you in public, and I could lure you into bed with diseases for which there is no cure.

“In other words, if I were the Devil, I’d just keep right on doing what he’s doing.

“Paul Harvey……Good Day!”

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